I heard myself mumble it just as I was falling asleep last night. The part of my brain that was still awake fought desperatly against my heart as it took control and whispered that scary little declaration of insanity ...love you... Now I pretty much just feel like I'm loosing control, loosing my cool, loosing my head and my heart. My only consolation is that he doesn't know I know I said it. I usually mumble some nonsence if talked to when I'm about to fall asleep, so this really shouldn't count.
His attitude this morning kinda threw me even further into the whole lost feeling of last night's insanity. I've never seen him happier than this morning - I don't think I've ever really seen a person jumping with joy before and it's annoying the hell out of me.
I'm just really relieved that he's going out with his friends tonight so that I can use the time to work up an aggression towards life, love, people and him. That should prepare me nicely for the teary break up scene I'm scheduling next week...
