pressed It might not seem like much but for me it's getting to be a little too much. I'm having a terrible year so far, in 84 days I have to hand in my Master thesis that's just not going, getting or doing anything at the moment. Except of course driving me crazy and remaining decidedly unfinished. Although I was lucky enough to get an internship for a great law firm I've spent most of my time staying at home sick, I've been through two flues, two pneumonia, a stomach bug and horrible back pain. After last years bout of actually losing first the feeling and then the strenght in my legs, three months of bed rest and endless amount of pain I've had it with being sick. I just don't have the Pollyanna personality to deal with this. I've also gained weight, which for me is a big one. After losing over 50 pounds it feels like a huge failure to pile it on again. I'm not close to where I was and I know that what with not being able or allowed to work out this was bound to happen but it's just so unfair. A year ago I was excersising and running 6 times a week and now I probably couldn't run for 10 minutes, even to save my life.
I'm having a terrible year, so bad in fact that I've been thinking that perhaps I might actually be depressed. For some reason I've decided that in order to diagnose myself I will have to know whether I'm having a terrible year because I'm depressed or if it's the year that's making me depressed. Usually this train of thought only leads me to the conclusion that I'm not really depressed despite the terribleness of the year, I'm just entirely fed up with the way things are. Today the thought that there are over 10 more months left of this year finially entered my head and now I actually might just be depressed...
